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On Perfection


Good morning, ladies and germs,

Today I have the honor, nay, PRIVILEGE of hosting my friend and fellow author, Marc Vun Kannon. He is here to celebrate the release of his new novel, ST. Martin’s Moon. So put your hands together and welcome the only man I know brave enough to put werewolves on the moon: MARC VUN KANNON! (thunderous applause and confetti)

On Perfection

I’m a pantser and I’m proud of it. Let me show you why. Consider the following piece of unedited flash fiction:

[insert story here]

**************

“That’s not a riddle, or even a curse.  It’s a fortune cookie!”

“Oh, rubbish,” said one of the other partners.  “So it’s not eight verses long, it’s still as opaque as a vampire’s glasses.  A nice Riddle, with ominous undertones, is what I call it.”

This made the chairman happier, but it wasn’t enough.  He turned at last to the final partner, lying on the floor.  “Your take, Mycroft?”

Mycroft ran his antennae across the document in front of him, contemplated it for a moment.  Or perhaps he was asleep, his chitinous face gave nothing away.  Then he chattered into his vocoder, ”No one-ish statement, future possibles there are being.”

The first speaker scoffed.  “That’s the problem with multi-lens optics, mate,” he said to the second.  “Look at a tree, they see a forest!”

“Oh, muzzle it, Gasbag.”  Mate tilted his head towards the Chairman’s place.  “I will, reluctantly, concur with Mycroft in this case, sir.”

The chairman smiled at his misgivings.  He loved misgivings.  Agreement among his lieutenants meant nothing to print.  He curled up his document, stuck it in a tube, and dropped it in a hole in the floor, for the editors to wrangle over.  The others lay their copies before Mycroft to consume.  Waste not, want not, and besides, he was pregnant.

“I remember when Interworld Publishing had standards,” groused Gasbag.

“Have to grow with the times, Gassy,” said the chairman amiably.  “Just oceans of new species out there to prophesy for, can’t please everyone.  Let’s move on to Curses, shall we?”

**************

While it’s true that I never finished the story this was supposed to be the beginning of, if I’d been an (quick, somebody cover Sean’s ears) Outliner (oops, I should have said his eyes. Sorry, Sean) I probably never would have started it either.

It’s not like I don’t care where the story is going to end up, I do, I just don’t have to know it before I start. Or even after I start. I’ve brainstormed a lot of stories with various family members, but somehow, no matter what ideas we come up with, the story always seems to find some new and off-beat way to get there. If we do get to there, and not some upside-down, inverted, complementary, reciprocal version of there that may as well be someplace else entirely.

[talk about St. Martin’s Moon some more.]

It’s a hell of a way to run a railroad, but fortunately I’m not interested in railroading. I don’t even care about making obscure ‘Blazing Saddles’ references about railroading, since that would be the obvious thing to do and I try not to do the obvious things.

What I want to do is have fun while I’m doing it, where ‘it’ means writing my stories. I am my own first reader, after all. If the story doesn’t interest and amuse me why would I expect it to interest and amuse you? And even if it doesn’t work for you, well, at least it worked for me, that counts for something.

[ask some witty and leading question, begging for comments is gauche]

Oh, and three points to anyone who can figure out the obscure title to this piece. It’s really easy, just take a step back, two steps sideways, and try not to think of the movie Tremors.

[Note to self: remove all of these comments]

Author Bio:Like many writers, I started when a story came along and decided that I should write it. Don’t ask me why. Others followed, until now I’m afraid to go out of the house with a recorder or notebook in my hand. But I show them, I refuse to write the same story twice!

Read his blog HERE!

St. Martin’s Moon now available at OmniLit!

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. May 5, 2011 at 8:38 am

    I always get the idea “We am not in Kansas anymore Toto” when I read your blog posts. That is both of you. Shaking my head and LOL!

  2. May 5, 2011 at 8:19 pm

    Why, thank you!

  3. May 5, 2011 at 9:54 pm

    I’m a total panster, too, Mark. Never know what I’m going to write until I write it. By the way, very cool book covers.

  4. May 6, 2011 at 5:49 am

    Sometimes I feel like poor Hysterium, from A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. “I meant ‘yes’, it just came out ‘no’.”
    I thank you on Karen and Natalie’s behalf. Behalves? Whatever. The only cover I had input into was Steampunk Santa. I was very pleasantly surprised with Ex Libris.

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