Home > Uncategorized > WTF Does That Mean?!! C-D

WTF Does That Mean?!! C-D

Okay, everybody enjoyed the first one. Here’s number two. Don’t worry, I’ll keep going all the way through the alphabet, that way when you hear one of the damn things, you’ll know what it means šŸ˜‰

Can’t get blood from a stone. – Ah yes. One of my favorites. Basically it means I’m fucking broke and if you keep bothering me I will declare bankruptcy bitch.

Charity begins at home. – Have kids? Have a wallet? Is there anything IN your wallet? EXACTLY

Clean your finger before you point at my spots. – Two things on this one. Ben Franklin said this. Wise Dude. 1. EWWWWWWW 2. Never pull it either.

Clothes don’t make the man. –I’m sure Darth Vader would beg to fucking differ. Just sayin.

Common sense is not so common. – It’s probably hanging out with humility, caring, understanding, and intelligence.

Confession is good for the soul. – But straining on a marriage. Sheesh these people are dumb.

Count your blessings. –Ā On one hand? Sorry, I’m a little bitter lately.

Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the conquest of it. – Now available in liquid form! Courage is drinking enough to stop caring if you look like a total moron.

Curiosity killed the cat. – By curiosity they mean Ford Focus.

Dally not with other folk’s spouses or money. – Ben Franklin was to polite to use the word “FUCK”. Dally You, Ben Franklin!

Dead men don’t bite. – Keep telling yourself this when the zombieĀ apocalypseĀ comes. I’m sure you’ll be fine.

Different strokes for different folks. – Did you know this quote was from around 1857? Yup. I’ve got too many things to say about this one so I’ll live you with, “What you talking bout, Willis?”

Do not attempt too much at once. – Don’t worry. I wont.

Do not leave for tomorrow what you can do today. – Except dying, taxes, visiting with mother in laws, homework, work, mowing the lawn, changing the oil, and going to the dentist.

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. – Should NOW read, Do unto others BEFORE they do unto you. Cuz you know they gonna. Just sayin. Don’t trust em.

Do what comes natural. – ~Opens beer, sits on couch, turns on sports center~

Dog is a man’s best friend. – I’m friends with a bounty hunter? WTF?

Don’t be too quick to judge. – Yes. Let your hatred of morons fester.

Don’t believe everything you hear. – Or read on wikipedia.

Don’t bite the hand that feeds you. – Unless it’s holding chocolate.

Don’t burn your bridges behind you. – Unless you’re being followed by sword wielding ninjas hell bent on your death. That happened to me once. Glad I burned THAT bridge.

Don’t cry over spilt milk. – Unless it was the last of it and you have a brand new bag of Oreos. Then cry away.

Don’t take no for an answer. – Yeah. That tasty bit of advice will get you brought up on charges. “But your HONOR, the proverb said….”

Don’t try to reinvent the wheel. – Unless it turns out to be 9-ply steel tread road grippingĀ ItalianĀ rubber wheels. They’re cooler than regular ones.

Don’t toot your own horn. –Because if you can, you may never leave the house again.

Don’t shoot the messenger. – Unless the messenger is saying, “HI, I’m Bob. I’m here to kill you.” Then shoot away.

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