Home > Uncategorized > WTF Does That Mean?! G-H

WTF Does That Mean?! G-H


Howdy all.

Time for another WTF Does That Mean. You seem to be enjoying them, so I’ll keep going all the way thru the alphabet. Tonight’s show is sponsored by the letters G & H.

Genius is ninety percent perspiration and ten percent inspiration-They forgot fifty percent medication. With great genius comes great instability.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and he’ll eat forever-drink lots of beer, spend thousands of dollars on a boat, and piss off his wife. Sheesh, the people who come up with this shit always do a half ass job don’t they?

Give credit where credit is due. – at 21% interest with 5% rewards available as cash back, rebates, or frequent flyer miles. Void where prohibited. All applicants will not be approved. Interest rates based on applicants with exceptional credit history. Rates subject to change at any time. Late fees applicable. If you forfeit on your bill we will take the life of your first child.

Give the devil his due. – I’ll bet a fiddle of gold against your soul because I think I’m better than you. Johnny rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard.

Given a challenge, rise to the occasion. – Viagra. Warning: If you have an erection that lasts for more than 4 hours, seek immediate medical attention. Not heeding this advice can cause serious heart problems or place your partner in a wheel chair.

Go for it. – Was replaced by Just do it. Which was was replaced by Git R Done. Which was replaced by Aww, Fuck It.

God helps those who help themselves. – and yet they get PISSED off at you when you take stuff OUT of the collection plate. Hypocrites.

Good things come in small packages. – I seriously think Trojan brand condoms needs to make this their new slogan. I’ve written them several times, but they keep ignoring me. Bastards.

Good things come when you least expect them. – Um, the grunting and crossed eyes wasn’t a dead giveaway?

Good words are worth much and cost little. – depending on ebook, paperback, or hard cover formats.  HA! See what I did there? I made an AUTHOR Joke! I kill me.

Great minds think alike. – Hey, you wanna go to Taco Bell? DUDE! I was JUST thinking that. Yeah, not so great.

Grin and bear it. – Holy SHIT. For 37 years I thought it was Grin and BARE it. Boy is my face red.

Half the truth is often a whole lie. – Bullshit. Its called an “Omission”. Hello.

Happiness is a state of mind. – Also can be referred to as “Medicated.”

Happiness isn’t a goal, it’s a by-product. – Happiness is what they put in hot dogs? I’m really fucking confused now. Thought that was lips and assholes.

Happy is the person who learns from the misfortunes of others. – Um. Sorry. Today that should read, “Laughing is the person who witnesses the misfortunes of others.” Just sayin. People generally are too fucking stupid to learn from their OWN mistakes.

Haste makes waste. – Um, no. That’s the power-plant up the street. See? It’s glowing.

Have confidence in yourself and you can lick anything. – Oh, COME ON! That is a real saying people. Don’t worry. I’m not touching that with a ten foot pole…er, tongue 😀

Hay is for horses. – Okay, Everybody needs to rip the stuffing out of their scarecrows RIGHT NOW! I mean it people. That shit is for HORSES!

He that first cries out “stop thief” is often he that has stolen the treasure. – Replaced by, “He who smelt it dealt it.”

He who hesitates is lost. – And yet, he who jumps right in often looks like a jackass. I guess it’s good to be somewhere in the middle.

He who laughs last, laughs best. – Until the guy he’s laughing at shanks his ass. HA HA!

Health is better than wealth. – APPARENTLY, this WISE old saying was created before they got a view at today’s rising health care costs and insurance rates. The Poor aint so fucking healthy. Just sayin.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. – by scorned they mean “CHEATED ON”. Seriously. Watch Maury Povich. Scary shit. Saw fire shoot outta one woman’s head.

His bark is worse than his bite. – He has halitosis. Which is a polite way of sayin his bref smells like he been eating shit sammiches.

History repeats itself. – So does my fucking neighbor. If i hear that god damned flaming squirrel landing in the shed full of kerosene story ONE MORE TIME…

Hit the nail on the head. – Nail can be substituted with “Lawyer” “Government Official” and “Martha Stewart” at anytime. I won’t mind.

Honesty is the best policy. – Bullfuckingshit. Not if lying your ass of keeps you out of trouble. Just sayin.

Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. – Pray for Peace. Dig a bomb shelter.

Hope you enjoyed my translations. Stay tuned! I and J are coming!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. June 19, 2011 at 11:34 pm

    What about do the right thing? lol

    • June 19, 2011 at 11:39 pm

      Covered by do unto others. Then run 😉

  2. June 19, 2011 at 11:42 pm

    I do enjoy your insanity

    • June 19, 2011 at 11:44 pm

      I do too 😀 Sanity is soooooo boring and over rated.

      Sean Hayden On his iPhone So forgive any spelling errors He has really big fingers And isnt used to such tiny keys He finds it very frustrating

  3. Despina Xeni
    June 20, 2011 at 12:08 am

    I like :-Dx

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