Wild and Crazy Guy

I’ve been worried about something. Ever since I posted my blog post to promise to post more blogs ive been worried about running out of topics to post on my blog. Then where would my blog be? Postless. An empty void in the sea of blog. Well, I’ve decided not to worry about it anymore. I’m going to post what randomly pops into the old noggin. It might not necessarily have anything to do with writing or books. Hell, it might not have anything to do anything. I might just string words together in a vain attempt that someone will comprehend the jib jab of utter nonsense scientist have classified as my normal day to day thought patterns. Are you afraid? YOU SHOULD BE.

I’ll still have my author and editor buddy’s pop by from time to time. I like them too much not to share them with you. Just be warned, from here on out, things could get a little weird.

So what’s today’s topic?

Me.

For those of you just turning in to radio Shayden, here’s some things you MIGHT not know about me:

My eyes ARE brown because I’m full of shit. It’s not a myth. They used to be blue.

You really ARE what you eat. It’s why I’m bad. I never eat healthy. Healthfood is for rabbits and vegetarians frighten me.

I’m a beer snob. What’s a beer snob you ask? Easy. If you give me a domestic beer I will let it warm untouched in front of me and then deliberately spill it on your white Persian Cat. Just sayin. Give me the thick tastes like it was mixed with dirt, in your face, smells like a loaf of bread beer any day of the week.

I collect stone gargoyles and medieval swords. I know right? Go figure. Whooda thunkit?

I really wish it were fashionable to wear kilts. I could wear kilts. I’d look good in one. My legs aren’t even hairy.

I have five ear piercings and an eyebrow piercing that closed up. (Need to get redone.)

I have three tattoos. No, I’m not saying what or where. Search for yourself 😛

I love animals. I have a buttload of them as pets. We’re talking 1 dog, 1 sugar glider, 2 bunnies (used to be 3, one just died, very sad), 3 ducks, 2 cats, and 4 fish. I’m looking into purchasing farmland.

I have 2 children. A girl who’s 9 (adorable. If you don’t believe me, check ebay. I have her listed) and a son who’s 11 (also on ebay) My son and I also are writing a series of short stories together. The Magnificent Steam Carnival of Professor Pelusian Minus. It’s a YA steampunk series. The first one is out and is called First Flight. Go read it. Or I’ll put scabs in your Wheaties.

I suffer from delusions of grandeur and have low self esteem. What does that mean? It means that one day I hope to rule the world but will be worried everybody thinks I suck at the job.

I’m pretty funny. Everybody tells me so. However it is usually followed by the words LOOKING, SMELLING, and SOUNDING. I think they’re just jealous.

My therapist says I’m Narcissistic. I wasn’t sure what that meant, so I asked her how it would affect me.

I’ve never wasted money on therapy. I probably should have, but I know I’m screwed up. Knowing really IS half the battle. Thanks GI Joe.

Every time I cut my hair, something bad happens. I’m never cutting it again.

My dad was a fire chief. I’m a pyromaniac. Ironic.

I have an overactive imagination. Imagine that.

My fingernails are extraordinarily long. I tell everybody it’s for working with fiber optics. I think its just cool.

I have no eyebrows in my senior yearbook pictures. I look like a caveman in a tuxedo. Damn you tequila! Damn you to hell.

I’m 6’2, 245 pounds and have chicken legs. All of the Haydens are built that way.

I have 4 brothers who are all very older than I am. 12, 14, 16, and 18 years older. I said to my mom, “Mom, did you know I was born 9 months to the day after vietnam was over?” She replied, “No, but i know you were born 9 months to the day after your dad made fire chief!” 😮

I used to be afraid of clowns. Now I just punch them whenever they get too close. I always heard you should conquer your fears.

Well that’s it for now. If you have any questions, Don’t hesitate to ask. I might not answer, but seriously don’t hesitate.

Chow for now.